I don’t think my mother ever uttered the phrase “just wait until you have teenagers of your own” but apparently the universe did. We all get what is coming to us sooner or later.
A few weeks after school started, gang leader Bizmani came to me and told me he wanted to help him get into school (the translating was not that easy). It turned out he was only at a Primary 2 level (like 2 grade) even though he is fifteen. Since primary school is free, all he needed was a uniform, which I happily bought. Then he needed sneakers, then he needed sport clothes, then he needed insurance….. I drew the line when he brought me a note clearly written by one of his older friends saying “Eeach lerner must pay 2000 francs by month end.” As soon as the first “Oya” (no) came out my mouth, the hugs, grocery carrying and cheerful greeting disappeared. In their place came a sullen teenager who nodded his head when I called out hello.
Bizamni’s attitude varies in direct correlation to whether I am giving anything. 2 weeks ago, he started the lovely little habit of hopping the fence at night and banging on my door to tell me that his stomach hurt and he needed milk. He is an orphan who lives with his aged and apparently useless grandfather so I do get sucked in still occasionally and give him money for milk or pepto-bismol for his stomach hurts. I stopped answering the door at night when he bangs on it. That is just beyond the pale for me.
Bottom line, I don’t blame him at all. He is just a regular teenager who has never had anything and was thrilled when he got to live the high life for a few days. I am sure I acted the same way (possibly worse) when my parents denied me things I “needed” during my teenage years. I created this situation by giving him money and clothes in the first place and I don’t blame him for trying. Also, the attention the kiddies get from me is exciting because their own parents tend to be busy with work (and do not possess i-pods) thus when their fun playmate is not ready to play, its hard for them to hide their disappointment. Bizmani is just taking it to another level. Regardless, he is a remarkably well-adjusted kid. He is an orphan who I am sure never received counseling or social services, he mostly takes care of himself. He also gladly attends school where the other children are half his age. All-around I think he is great kid.
Although I take full responsibility for the current situation, the drama is a bit tiring. As I write, he is laying on my front lawn. Earlier when I was walking and he snuck up behind me and scared the living daylights out of me, he was fine. Then he requested music but I said “Oya” as I needed to come in and set my stuff down from my weekend trip. Now, 2 hours later, he is laying on my lawn too sick to move. The kids followed me in when I came in from the market, I let them listen to a little music and then tried to get them out. But Bizmani could not be awoken from his deep slumber on the lawn. He is so sick that only the other children can speak for him “Bizmani je suis malade” and “Jani-e, bizmani water.” This time he is going to have to count on his grandfather or neighbors. He survived 15 years of illness without me and this time he has pushed too far. That is the downside of trying to emotionally blackmail an expert emotional blackmailer… Even a recovered EB can spot it a mile away.
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