The first month of “re-entry” was a cakewalk for me. Maybe it was because of all the yummy foods I got to eat or maybe it was because my ankle situation distracted me. At first, I couldn’t walk and was limited to going places I could afford to take cabs to. This sheltered me from having to think seriously about getting a job or living a life outside of catching up on my shows. Now, I am pretty much free and clear and am starting to face reality.
Re-entry seemed fairly mild until mid-term elections. The hardest part was too many choices, trains, and the feeling that it was strange/unfair that everyone’s life had gone on without me. But mid-term elections changed all that. Hearing the radio or news on TV started driving me crazy. I think the problem is that the political process just seems so negative. There is so much fighting it reminds me of a book I had in childhood with the refrain “No fighting, no biting!” Every time I hear “We want Obama to be a one term president” (which is often) it hurts my soul. Yes, every party not in power wants to be in power as quickly as possible, but the idea just seems so negative. Why not come up with better ideas instead of simply trying to drag down someone else? The day after mid-term elections, it got worse. Pictures of Obama looking depressed were on the cover of every newspaper, along with news of the defeat of democrats everywhere and talk of repealing Health Care. I actually started to get nostalgic for Kagame’s “democracy.” There is no freedom of speech or press but there is much less noise, And people generally seem happy in Rwanda where complaints and criticisms rein in the Good Ol’ US of A.
Today, I saw the Fair Game movie about the Joe Wilson/Valerie Plame affair. This Hollywood soap box practically made me lose faith in humanity. Americans, with all our education, freedom of speech, and freedom of press are still barbarians. Politicians lie and cheat and we support them. We bombed Afghanistan and Iraq and most American’s never even cared. How can humanity be so awful? The movie got me thinking that perhaps politics are always corrupt. Democracy, dictatorship, is there even a difference?
Several family members and friends tried to talk me out of losing all faith. My brother said that in the past, people were defenseless against the whims of Kings and had no recourse. He also pointed out that during the Armenian genocide no one said anything and that they are currently bringing charges in Sudan for genocide. His view is that things are getting better not worse.
After talking with my family and friends, I decided not to give up all hope. But I did realize something important. Maybe re-entry is “harder” than initial cultural adjustment because all the difficult, imperfect things are permanent. In Rwanda, the lack of running water and diet coke was always going to be temporary. At the lowest points, we could count down the days until we went home. Once home, there is no countdown. Politics are not going to change anytime soon. As long as I live in America, the freedom of speech and press will mean that the political process is going to be loud, annoying, and contradictory. As long as I live in New York City, people will push me on the subway and fail to stand clear of the closing doors. Unlike lack of running water, these hardships and annoyances have no expiration date.
Fortunately, the amazing array of delicious food isn’t going away either.
