I feel most colonial when…

Yesterday, I woke up feeling pretty sick but decided to make my way to the market so I could buy lots of fruits packed with vitamins. After my quick trip, I felt too tired to walk the half mile home so I hired a bicycle “taxi.” There are no real taxi’s in Nyanza and your choice for public transport is either a moto (vespa/scooter) taxi or bike. I usually take motos when necessity demands but there were only bike taxis around.

So there I am, sitting sidesaddle on the back of a young man;s bike “taxi” and he is huffing and puffing up the hills. I definitely could have walked it easier, even in my weakened state. At one point, we both had to get off so he could walk the bike. But, I was instructed to get back on, so I sat on the back, clutching my brown bag of fruits and feeling like I might as well be carried in a litter.

On the positive side, I told some of the older neighborhood kids I was sick and they have been amazing about keeping everyone away from my gate. I tried to go to school today because my Senior 4’s don’t have a chem teacher so they have like 3 free hours a day where they just sit around, but I left after 2 classes. People were shocked I was there with a stuffy nose, “You must, um, a, love, the work Janie” one teacher said to me, shortly before I decided it was time to go.

It surprises me that in a country where people are sick all the time, people are total bugs outs about it. “Hopital, hopital” several people have said to me. Maybe it  is because illness’ turn serious quickly here, but having a bad cold affords you the same sympathy that the loss of a limb would at home.  That, of course,  is just fine with me.

Sleepy baby

Belle Fille

 

Awake

 

Asleep

Picture this

This morning I left for school half an hour earlier than I usually do. This was due to the fact that I had the worst nights sleep and my dreams were so vivid I feel like I was awake the whole night-but I digress.

So I left early and passed the same 3 schools I usually do on my way. But this morning, the pre-primary kids were still waiting for their gate to be opened. Picture 50-75 little children all with shaved heads (boys and girls) dressed in identical blue and white checked shirts, blue bottoms and blue pullovers with white stripes at the neck and collar. Note that the pullovers are clumsily embroidered with their “pupil number” so they have random numbers stretched drunkenly across the left breast.  Now picture said children MOBBING me. It was like being Miley Cyrus or Barack Obama. Screams of “Muzungu” and “Jan-IEE” were mixed with just plain screaming. They surrounded me and I literally could not move. I looked down at their freshly shaven heads and gap tooth smiles and could not help but smile myself.  Being one of the very few muzungu’s in town and being liberal with the hugs and hand shakes has made me semi-famous/circus freak in my village already…. but this was Superstar.  I finally managed to wade through the crowd and make my way to school, no longer half and hour early.

  Now the question is.. Will I ever leave my house that early again?

E.S.C.N Photos

Here is a full album of pics from the debate and parents day

The big debate: in 2 acts

ACT I: Debate Preparation: Before the big showdown
In preparing for my debate on homosexuality 100 VS 1 I went straight to my Dad and then the bible. I knew the “not everyone is Christian” argument wasn’t going to work, because their retort would be that they are going to hell anyway. So, in my research (luckily I have the holy bible on my iPod) I realized that the scriptural basis for homophobia is pretty weak.   I consider myself a Christian because I think Jesus was the bomb regardless of his divinity, his ideas hold up. That said,  I don’t take everything in the bible too literally so I wasn’t too bothered by the idea that there maybe some anti-gay sentiment in it.  The Sodom and Gomorrah issue is really about rape and the entire town couldn't have been homosexual because then it would die out on its own and wouldn’t have to be destroyed.  Leviticus really only applies to Orthodox Jews so I think I can get past that one easily. I also did some reading by pro-gay scholars who suggested that homosexuality was grouped in with promiscuity, sodomy of the losers after battle, rape of slave boys, and prostitution, not the loving union of two people.  The scholars I found also mentioned 2 passages of same-sex love  (although not same-sex sex)“David’s love for Jonathan was said to exceed his love for women” and the example of Ruth and Naomi’s loving relationship.
The “Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve” seems to be my biggest hurdle. I am planning on using infertile women and men as examples, they cannot bear children, are God’s children and yet do not fulfill the go forth and multiply command. Also, monks and priests live a life of celibacy and do not procreate so while procreation is important for  human race to survive, it does not necessary need to apply to each and every person.  I am also going to bring up some Kinsey Institute research that suggests there are genetic or prenatal factors but not sure how it will go over.
Paul is another obstacle but he also said that women shouldn’t speak in church which is now thought to be outdated. My major rebuttal to Paul is that he really was against immorality and adultery not committed loving relationships. Also, he never met Jesus and while was he important in the creation of the early church, Jesus’ words and actions  should be held as supreme. And his ultimate commandment was “Love God above all and love our neighbors as ourselves.”
ACT II: After the battle

Just Kidding! Actually, my side (Marie joined me!) won 28 points to 18 points. Well, we technically won. There was moderator from another class who awarded points based on arguments and whether we addressed the other side’s points.  Also, only 6 people from the other side spoke so I didn’t have to contend with 100 voices. They talked a lot about Adam and Eve, Sodom and Paul’s letter to Corinthians. (That was a bit killer for me as he names homosexuality as being akin to adultery, immorality etc) I don’t think I changed any minds but it was interesting and lively. The boys seems preoccupied with homosexuality in prisons and had a hard time differentiating between that and a committed loving relationship.
The conclusions were extremely memorable. Laurent said “I think that there are the most homosexuals in America and that’s why God will destroy America first and soon” Franck and Emmanuel both stated that “It is the end of the world [homosexuality]” and Franck said they hang homosexuals in Uganda. I said “Is that right? To kill someone? Isn’t Jesus peaceful"?” and he said “Well, they are killing the devil”
All in all, it was pretty successful. I am not sure I overcame 15-24 (depending on their ages) of religious teaching but hopefully I brought up a few thinking points. I tried (Thanks Dad) that to show that people have interepted the bible ovetime, but they couldn't really wrap theitr heads around it. They brought up society and I tried to point out that society’s laws are different from Gods. They also said you get judged in Heaven if you stay within the societies rules, to which I gently brought up that they lived in a society where 15 years ago there were very bad things going on and sometimes Countries and societies make bad choices and do not abide by Gods laws. And, they kept asking for details on how “sex” happens between people of the same gender so, with a bright red face, I explained that.  Based on the whole debacle, the vast majority of the kids probably think I am headed straight to hell. I went to church with them after and didn't burst into flames so hopefully that helps.

My Team
The Other Team
Me and the other team (with Bible)
Franck and me (one of my AllStars)
Laurent (waiting for USA’s demise)
Emmanuel and me (Another AllStar)

Jalique

Ever since I got back from my vacation to the U.S.A. I have had trouble with little boys climbing in my back windows. The first time it happened, I screamed at them through the windows and immediately covered all windows. Then, I went and spoke to the older (8 years old) brother, Manudi, who is a good boy and quite attached to me. Then, it happened again. and again. I realized it was the same little boy-Jalique- every time. So, I got help from a teacher at my school to explain it wasn’t okay. He translated “Stop climbing on my windows or I will not play with you” to “Stop climbing on the windows or I will beat you.” I even called Jalique out and pointed at him and everyone scolded him.  I thought it was done and was really proud of myself for handling it. I had been escaping to Kigali every weekend because the kids were making me so nuts but stayed home this weekend for the debate and to get in some good gang QT.
This morning, after playing with the kids for an hour and half, I was laying on my couch watching the Gossip Girl pilot and I heard “Jani-e, Jan-IE” from the gate. I called “Simfite Mwaka” (I don’t have time) and but the voices continued. So I called “OYA! Tuzabonanna” (NO! See you later). A few minutes later, I heard a giggle from outside my bedroom window “Jan-IE” I should note I was not fully dressed at the time… so I threw on a shirt and I ran outside and tried to figure out where they were climbing the 8 foot wall around the back of my house.
Sure enough, I saw Jalique and another little boy I didn’t know running away. I decided enough was enough and after I showered and dressed in my Rwandan best (for the homosexuality debate that got moved to tomorrow morning because my school boys were watching The Terminator)  I went to Jalique’s shack to speak with his mother. They have no hesitation asking me for money for haircuts, medicine, doctors, shoes etc so I was hoping Jackie (the mom) would see that its better to not have me pissed off.
Jackie wasn’t there but a man was (they said it was his “father” but he looks 20 years younger than the mom). I spoke with this parental figure and explained the situation using sign language, French and Kinderwanda.  As the male of the house looked at his cell phone he nodded and said “problem, oui problem”
So now I am home filled with guilt that this kid is probably going to get beaten (or at least smacked) when he gets home. I feel guilty but what other recourse did I have? I had spoken to the child himself, his brother, the whole gang in both anger and once I was calm. There may be cultural differences but clearly he knew it was wrong and was doing it to get a reaction. I am already trying to overturn one social taboo (homosexuality) this weekend, I am not sure I could have sat the father down and asked him to reason with the boy about privacy and people’s personal space. And maybe the father figure will blow it off and laughed the second I left.
During my “stigma” discussion with my classes this week, I brought up that you can’t hit your wife or children in the US. One kid raised his hand and said “But how do you make the child listen?”
Me: “You explain the reason why and the right thing to do”
Him:  “But what if they don’t listen?”
Me: “You take away privileges and have consequences”
Then I realized that most kids don’t have anything you can take away as punishment… no X-Box or TV.  You could take away their old tire and stick but then they would find a old water bottle and be just as happy. Not that it excuses hitting children but when life is such a challenge anyway, finding “creative punishments and consequences” probably isn’t on the top of anyone’s to-do list.  This is all just my guilty ramblings. Jalique and his brothers are generally well-cared for despite their insanely extreme poverty and their mother seems loving so I am sure it will turn out okay. I just haven’t been in a situation before I could be the cause of a kid getting hit. In school, I always deal with stuff myself to avoid the harsh school discipline (one girl just got expelled for having a cell phone).  I better stop writing before I burst into tears.
But I swear, if he climbs on my windows again after this, I could be pushed into a homicidal state. In fact, its almost guaranteed.

UPDATE: The mother came by with Jalique and his brother Manudi and a stick to show she had hit them. I spent the night crying. I saw them this morning but they both seemed fun and gave me hugs. I think Manudi is more pissed he got dragged into it when it wasn't his fault. They seem recovered but I can't get rid of the lump in my stomach. Maybe my 8:00 AM debate about homosexuality will turn it around.

JMV and the S1 garden

My S1 boys are so cute they break my heart. JMV took 2 hours to finish his history exam (everyone else took about an hour). He is so careful and hard-working that it makes me want to cry. I honestly have to restrain myself from hugging him. I mean that literally. I have to talk myself down “Jane, not a good idea to be hugging school boys out of the blue… They already think you are a crazy Muzugnu, it would probably traumatize the poor kid” I just want him to be home with his mom. He looks way too young and fragile to be in boarding school. The children tend to be quite reserved with their smiles, but JMV never smiles and always gives me a Bambi in headlights look. Some of my other S1’s are teeny tiny too but no one brings tears to my eyes quite like JMV. 

My other little buddy

These pictures are from our creative class today. I started by drawing a flower and then they all filled in with their own. They could have drawn anything but maybe I didn’t make that clear enough. Regardless, the result was beautiful.

 

It was supposed to be dirty blonde

photo credit- John Stanlake

According to me, grenades are very bad

This week I did current events with all classes and had them write and then speak about one of two current events. I told them about Jacob Zuma revealing his HIV status and then about the recent grenades in Kigali that are related to the upcoming elections. What followed was an incredibly intelligent discussion in all 6 English classes.  I love “debate” because they have been taught to open with “According to me……”

I was blown away by my Senior 6MCB class (They are usually a huge pain in the ass). They had original theories and were able to come up with great ideas on the spot. One kid said that he read it was actually the government doing it, to make the opposition look bad (Saying this is like telling the CIA you want to kill Barack Obama but I promised everything they said would stay in the classroom). Another boy thought it was an African continent problem and that people travelled from place to place doing this during African elections.  Someone thought it was Ex-FAR members who escaped after Kagame came to power (a fairly sound theory).

AND THEN….another boy brought up Freedom versus Peace and that in Rwanda they have peace but not a lot of freedom. My friends and I have actually spent a fair amount of time discussing this exact issue. 15 years after a genocide, the government has traded freedom of speech/press for peace. I was so amazed to hear these free thinking ideas coming from children who have spent their 12 years of schooling rote memorizing.  They also brought up re-traumatizing genocide survivors which I thought was pretty astute and sensitive. Then, they asked me what I thought….

I said I agreed, that the government was very focused on peace over freedom, probably because they were still scared from the civil war (Emmanuel, interrupted me and said “genocide”). In America you can say whatever you want against the president or government with no fear of jail so people are less inclined to use violence to make their views known. In Rwanda, people cannot speak out, so they are using violence as a way of showing they are unhappy. But, nonetheless I think violence is wrong and there are many examples of people communicating their views in a repressed society without violence (Mandela, Gandhi).  I finished by saying I thought that someday Rwanda could have the same freedom of speech/press as the USA but that it would take time for people to feel that it was not a threat to peace.

Side note- I am very safe. The U.S. embassy has a close watch on all the expats, knows where we are in the Country and sends us emails whenever there is an incident. The opposition is not very well organized and the attacks have all been after dark on a weekend in Kigali so we abide by a curfew. Worldteach is super on the ball about this and working with Peace Corps. Remember (this statement is not PC) but no one wants the U.S. news full of pictures of cute young Americans who were working for the US government abroad. I am in way more danger debating 100 kids on Saturday about Homosexuality.

I need help when…

Last week, I translated the song “Lean on me” with all my classes as a nice easy semester opening. Then I asked them to write 5 sentences about a time in their life when they needed help.  My goals were vocabulary use, past tense, and relaying a real event. Here are some of the verbatim responses. These are all from 4th form (roughly tenth graders).

• I need a help of money I want to get richman if someone give me money I will get rich, and I need help in my studies to be one line with others
• Firstly when I was a child my parents died. till this time I was stay with my grand brothers and sisters until now. After the death of our parents I need some people to help me in my life because I couldn’t live alone with my brothers and sisters only.
• …When I am sleeping in the classroom I need some one who wake up me…  I am not happy I need someone who come take a story.
• …If someone is sneezing, I can tell him God Bless You.
• In My Life. In my life I need a help in my studies because I want to continue to University. I need someone who can give advice or information about business. I need much know because I’ll become myself who helps others. In my life I want to see other countries, and after know their stories. My suggestion is to be a doctor for preparing my best future.
• When I was a baby, when I had had stench in my clothes. When someone told me words which have hurted my heart. When I had an accident at Nyabugogo taxi park. When I was going to be begotten (to borne), me and my mother needed help of a doctor or midwife. When I was crying because my grandfather had died. When I have been stolen all of my clothes. When I have lost my school fees.
• First of all I need a person who can help me to keep my mind when I am afraid or when I’m sad or when I have a problem that person is my best friend.

Know your audience

This morning I used homosexuality as an example in one of my classes as something that has “Stigma” in Rwanda and not in the U.S.A. (okay… not perfect in USA but in my USA). 

“WHAT” Screamed 53 voices. “But its wrong… the bible says… abomination…..” came the cries. Then from the babble of voices came one strong clear voice

“But Teacher, what do you think? I thought you said you were a Christian?”

I tried to explain that I was a Christian who believed that homosexuality is okay. I said “love is love” and “Jesus himself had never come out against it” I even tried bringing up the idea that the bible is interpreted in many different ways. The whole time with my class staring at me in shock and horror. Then, I decided to share that I had been to a gay Commitment Ceremony in a church.   And one kids head literally exploded.

After we had cleaned up the brains and general gore from the combustion, I told them we needed to move on but I would dedicate a time to debate the issue in full with them. I immediately emailed Bob Brokawand begged for some help. These kids though their bible and I am going to need more ammunition than “God is Love”

C’est la vie

I know W curve is the most over-used phrase in this blog and maybe in Rwanda. We tend to use it in a daily sense… things go down and up like a rollercoaster. But, the phrase was originally created as a metaphor for the entire living abroad experience. When you first arrive, you are jazzed, and then you miss home and only think about the things from home that are better. Then everything evens out, and once you go home the whole process starts over again.

Since the end of vacation, my entire group has been pretty low. I am trying to remind myself that this is the low in the giant W that covers our whole time here. Soon, things will even out and everything will just be c’est la vie. Because the truth is, that frustrating days and bad times happen no matter where you live-c’est la vie. I am so happy I have amazing friends here and at home. So no matter how many very expensive  iPods break or kids climb through my windows, I have the important things.  In fact, I am sitting with Joco, John, and Susan in Shokola on the internet, eating chocolate chip cookies and hysterically laughing.  “Give me your best muffin”

My friend Joco just gave me  good quote. "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”- Plato. I wish I could live that by, but I think I already broke it.  My favorite yoga teacher ever once said to me “Happiness isn’t getting what you want, it’s wanting what you already have”  and I have really been trying to remember that and get a little (very little) distance from my electronic/pop culture dependence. That said, I really hope my iPod comes today.

Parents Day

Sunday was Parents Day at my school. This consists of some (not all…I couldn’t tell the percentage) parents coming to the school for a meeting. The meeting was supposed to start at 10:00 AM but started closer to 11:30 AM. All the teachers sat in the front of the room and introduced themselves before the official business began. I tried my best when it was my turn “Nitwa Jane Brokaw. Umawarumu English, ICT, Creative.”  (My name is Jane Brokaw I am a teacher…) Then someone took the microphone and translated my Kinderwanda into proper Kinderwanda. But the parents were very sweet and smiled and clapped for me.

When it was business time, first the school representatives spoke, the Headmaster, Dean of Discipline, Dean of Teachers, the Bursar and two men I had never seen before. All in Kinderwada, basically it was 4 hours where I understood 4 words. After the school spoke, the parents were given the chance to ask questions. And did they have a lot of questions. Apparently there is some issue with a Chemistry Teacher (he wasn’t there) not being up to par and the parents are very upset. There were also requests for more discipline which doesn’t seem possible to me (at this point, it was clear something good was going on so I asked the other English teacher to tell me what was going on). It was very interesting. In a country where authority is very respected, the mothers and fathers had no trouble demanding the school make changes (they are paying..). The best part of the meeting for me was that it was opened and closed by students dancing! I have a video but not sure the internet will ever be fast enough to upload it. I will try! In the meantime, here are some pictures.

The parents

School representatives

Teachers looking so interested!

Dancers      

Janivier- Bursar and my savior

Susan and Jane’s excellent adventure

This weekend was a mix of iPod related trauma and piles of fun with my friend Susan. I found out on Friday that she is leaving Rwanda and I support her 1000 percent. She is making absolutely the right decision for her. If I had her placement I would have been on a plane a long time ago. Selfishly I am devastated as its sort of like being separated from a Siamese twin. Susan and I were destined to be buds after we discovered a mutual US Weekly love on our initial plane ride from DC to Abbas.

All my friends were incredibly supportive during all my iPod related near break downs. On Friday we spent 5 hours at a cafe trying to download the “restore” software that might be able to fix my frozen iPod. 30 minutes from completion the download ended and zero-ed out!  Big glass of wine and some buds were responsible for holding back my tears.

Saturday morning, we started the day by announcing luck had changed and I would be able to complete the fix. 4 hours at a different cafe and 59 minutes until completion the same thing happened. Susan reassured me that now the good part of the day was starting and not to worry. So, like any respectable American girls, we went shopping and had our nails done.  Again, it seemed the good part of the day was starting.  After trying again for only an hour, it timed out again. We decided a beer was in order, we drank and Susan recounted what she had read so far from Oprah’s autobiography. After we left and were headed out, we were walking down the street and a bird shat on my hand.  Now our luck HAD to change. Then, after a dinner at our favorite place- Shake and Sip, we went and did hooka with a few other buddies from Worldteach Just a few… like 12!  We also celebrated all the May and June birthdays. Happy Birthday Meghan and Kyle. Long story short, my new very expensive iPod does not seem to be fixable until I can be in country with better internet. At least I have my friends. I still miss my iPod though

Emma

Meghan, birthday girl

Susan, Emma, Me and Kim

Long distance dedication to Katie Armour

This girl child is 1 year old. Gloria is not a 5 year old boy.  :)

Walking!!

My little ladies

 

Alileah, Sandrine and Diana

Sandrine and Diana

Sandrine and Diana are my some of my core favorites. They don’t live in the direct ‘hood, so when they come by its very special. They also only have 2 expressions major scowl and face-lit up smile. They also aren’t friends with the other kids and really only come to play with me. I see them in town sometimes and they always go from an extreme scowl to a wide smile and give me a huge hug. I also met their mom and little brother/sister who are both very sweet.

Alileah

Alileah holding her own

Alieah is a neighborhood girl and often the only girl is the small pack of kids that runs around my little area. She can hold her own and will often smack the boys who get in her way.

Rwandan Ergo

Inshuti!

And Baby Gloria is well known is this blog. She is learning to walk and we are now Best Friends! Inshuiti Cyane!! She actually cried today when I handed her back to her sister. Granted, her sister treats her mildly better than one would treat a pet leech but still it was a great feeling.

“Welcome Home” brought to you by Allie Beck

I knew I had great friends before, but they have all really come through since my adventure began. Yes, that is a cake with a picture of me riding a Zebra (Real pic-fake zebra).  Thanks Allie.

Thar she blows

Today,  I caught the THIRD person this week trying to steal from me. I lost my s%&t. Clearly. I screamed at the kid and basically the whole hood. I took a risk when I let the kids in my house and I learned my lesson.

1 time- my students tried to steal the postcards from NYC I brought. “What did you think was going to happen? I would think they disappeared into thin air?”

2 time- Girls from a primary school followed me home and stole nail polish from the porch that other kids were playing with. I saw them on the road and demanded it back.

3 time- I had Jalique (A FAV!) and this little boy Ausman in my house for tea and Ausman made off with my flashlight. I went to his house when I figured it out and demanded it back. All small things but hurtful none the less.

On top of this, my power is out for the 5th time in 7 days and the internet is not working. I got my modem back but its not working either. And my new ipod is totes broken and the touch screen doesn’t work. Sometimes, like today, I think that it might be easier to be without ipods, power, and internet because then it wouldn’t be such a blow when they break. I am planning to kick it old school and read until my candle dies. Thankfully my computer still has a bit of battery and the music from Glee is working quite nicely to cheer me up.

Somewhere over the rainbow

Cheer up Murray

This weekend my friends Joco, Evan, and John all came to visit. We spent Friday night at my abode and then Saturday in Butare. There is nothing better for a downward W curve then a weekend with this crew. The weekend seemed action packed and yet nothing really happened.

John, Evan and Joco/kaw

Friday night (After Alodie cooked for us all, bless her heart) we sat around talking until finally I had to beg off for exhaustion. My guests watched a Flight of The Concords episode before bed, and so I drifted off into a happy sleep with the sounds of “Cheer Up Murray” being sung.

Jo has Jellies!

A full rainbow. Amazing

Saturday was based around eating. We hit Belle Vie in Nyanza for Chapati in the morning and then Matar Supermarket in Butare  for lunch. After exploring Butare and seeing the University Campus we decided to head to a Chinese food restaurant someone had told me about. We asked maybe 10 people for direct5ions and got 10 different answers. Finally, as we were heading quite off the beaten path, these nice 2 ladies said they would show us the way. It was only a KM away. This was the first very scary warning sign. When a Rwandan says “only a kilometer” that could very well mean 3-7 kilometers. As we walked down a deserted road, the sun set and it started to rain. So now we were walking down a deserted dark road in the rain. I felt fully responsible as it was ‘my place” and starting thinking of ways I could make it up to my buds. I also said several times “You could have said no, or let’s turn around” We arrived at Chez Ginkongoro after about 30 minutes. The wait staff seemed surprised to see us and didn’t seem to understand we wanted food. We were shown to a side room full of couches with one empty low table.

Dum De Dum Dum Dun

What resulted was fantastic actual American-style Chinese food! Not just good for Rwanda, actual quality food.  My friends and I were thrilled and I thanked my lucky stars they were still speaking to me.