A wild bore

One of my favorite all time quotes from Joanna Copley (Joco) came in reference to teaching ICT (computer class). I texted her something about ICT being a pain and she responded “Teaching ICT is like trying to get wild boars to sit down to tea.” Amen. ICT not only turns my students in lying, deaf hooligans, it also turns me into a screechy wench.  No matter how many times I have a serious talk in the classroom before the lab (A.K.A. every time), the result is the same.

Discipline is not something I worry about often. My kids are pretty well behaved, and I feel confident getting them back in line when they aren’t. Now that exams are looming, when students are talking or sleeping I say “This will be on the exam. If you get a zero on the exam, I will not feel bad” or “If I was an English teacher and there were exams coming, I think I would put similes on it.” That usually makes students straighten up and pay attention. I haven’t lost my cool in an English class, the closest I came if when my S6 tried to steal my postcards. Now that the computer lab is up and running, I lose it pretty much everyday in ICT.  Like most teenagers, all their sense and reason leaves the equation when a computer is in sight. I have now resorted to taking 5 marks on people’s final grades (so if they got 20 on the exam, they would only get a 15/20 for the trimester).  “I said, Close your program NOW! Fermez votre programme MAINTINANT” “NOW!!!” “I am locking anyone who isn’t out of the room in 10 seconds in.” I also wander around the room muttering or saying out loud curses.

My students think CAPS LOCK is an acceptable way to type, so much of the time is spent with me erasing what they have written and saying “NO ALL CAPITAL LETTERS!.” I thought maybe they didn’t understand what I meant, so we spent 15 minutes in the classroom going over Aa Bb Cc Dd Ee, proper nouns, sentence beginnings, but THEY STILL KEEP THE CAPS LOCK ON.  its enough to make a poor teacher named jane give up capital letters all together.

I have ICT with 2 classes for 2 hours a week each. But every hour feels like it takes a year off my life. At this rate, I am just hoping to make it to 35. We spilt the class, so half goes for one hour and the other half the next. This way everyone gets a computer and there is a tiny glimmer of non-chaos. But, roughly 1/4 of the class tries to go twice and then lies when I catch them “Ah, Teacher, you said I could come back” Nice try. Today, after I had thrown 3 boys out  screaming “Get out NOW!” after they tried to sit down at different computers, I caught another boy turning his head away from me. Don’t get into a life of crime Martin, your poker face needs work.

“Get out!! Tugenda!! Aller!!!”